Challenged Changed Channelled.

I recently told God, and a lot of other people that my heart longs for community, that I want to love others without walls, without a big door to close people out, without windows which show light but offer only a glimpse of the possible brightness. I really want to bleed with people and suffer with them, to clothe others and to shelter them. I want to alter existence with my presence, which ultimately is nothing without HIS presence in me. I want Jesus and ALL His glory to be known where He is a stranger, to be welcomed where He is rejected and for precious children to discover that He is home.
     My problem though, is a little thing called FEAR.I find myself so often fearful, so worried, so anxious about everything. However much I want to be a true part of other people's lives I have to realise that my life until now has been so removed from the society in which I live. To change is to live, but to live is to be uncomfortable. You see, I'm understanding that loving my neighbour isn't just a nice way of doing things it IS the gospel, it is my only option. Discovering that is wonderful wonderful news, but I know I must be stretched in order to honour my heart's desires.
     It is a dangerous thing, to lay one's thoughts out before the Lord, He takes them seriously, He sees into our hearts and thinks "Go on then, you want this? I'm going to give you all I've got." I love that. It is terrifying though. In the last few days I have felt so grown by my Father, through simple obedience to Him in the smallest two tasks imaginable I feel suddenly alive....I am still in some ways mortified by my role in true community and what that might look like, but I feel so much more able now....do you know why? Because in my obedience I learnt that I am not able. In order to live the way I must I have to trust that He is. Who I am, or what I am not doesn't even matter. My God will not let me down, will not drop me, will not allow me to be foolish without purpose. He will sustain me, He will gently encourage me along paths of righteousness, and He will guide me. Where He leads I will follow and I suppose you call that faith.

"For by You I can run against a troop; By my God I can leap over a wall."

 2 Samuel 22 v 30