Eyes on the ball time

december december, where for art thou the 18th?


that is when my darling returns and my circle becomes thick again.....
im excited. too excited. and yet not enough.
my world is swirling, changing, developing and i long to draw him in,
for our paths to be one again.united.

My God, my God, why have i forsaken you? im a fool, a silly, petulant fool who talks to God as though He's dispensable, a whisper, a shadow.
But NO He is the Almighty King which words and thoughts cannot fathom or display.
Why oh why dont i treat Him as such.
why am i not mindful of my every thought, word and deed-imagining His heart as He sees and receives my actions.
i wish to worship, in my words, may they dance upon the page to make your heart leap my Lord...but all too often i find myself mute, devoid of praise.


"Not because of what i've done, but because of who You are!"

please allow me to grab hold of even your coat tails, and let me cling on, never to loosen or fall, but to chase you, watch you, admire you with all i have,
knowing the only motion i find is in you carrying me.

happenings

Sooooo November roles around; fast and cold.

What have i accomplished since Charlie left i ask myself?

God and His Kingdom is nearer to me than ever, although in some ways i have strayed further than before...my heart has more purity, my head more wisdom and my will more abandoned to His. You see its all about Him. God is love, life and greatness. Charlie represents that to me but he is a mere shadow.......

In the world: The American presidency is being decided as i write-i hope it to be Obama, but more than that i hope for our Father to reign in that place through whoever leads them and the rest of the world.

I love age and the aged, help me to have compassion mirroring yours towards them Jesus....

Finally "By my God i can run against a troop, by My God i can leap over a wall."

i miss my boy.

Security

Well..... i am engaged!!!!

HOW

exciting

IS

that?!

But. My fiancee has gone away, far far away to a land of dust and spices. For at least 100 sleeps. It. will. be. tough.

But. There is God. The Father of everlasting hope. So i will be ok. But expect tears along the way too. Enough tears to make my ink run but not enough to surprise God. The one who is enternally carrying me.

wowza

2 Corinthians 4

Treasures in Jars of Clay

1Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. 2Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. 3And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 5For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"^[a]made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.

7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

13It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."^[b]With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, 14because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. 15All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

people people people

I believe that we must love people as Jesus did and does....

but sometimes they make it so bloody hard dont they?
sometimes you just feel no matter what you do they will betray you, hurt you and ignore you...and its tough, its tough not to feel rejected and unworthy....especially when your friends make you feel that way....

and the solution? eyes.off.myself.
eyes.on.Jesus.
love.them.all.the.more.

phew...hard work but the only way........

now i have to go and do it i guess.
i need help!

God's heart

Gods heart must be breaking, breaking and in so much pain at the suffering of so many........

tonight i got just a little glimpse of what life is like for some people and it's truly dreadful. not awww isnt that awful dreadful but hellish dreadful, and actually lets do something about it...lets love people enough to at least try and change lives....there is NO excuse not to.....

we M.U.S.T. be moved into action, lets not waste the death of our Lord even for a second. People need the gospel and we have it. end of.

Justice must come for these ones who have no idea of how their life could be-deserves to be.

i feel wretched just thinking about it-let my pain lead me into passionate prayer to my God-the King and the hope for all.

why not?

Happy happy happy happy :)

well i do have a pretty mighty Sustainer.........

i think we can always choose to be happy, and because God is love His heart is for overflowing joy-we can always choose to tap into that....sometimes its the last thing we want to do because misery wallowing is fun, but actually God is good, He is faithful and good, so i am happy, happy happy happy x

i feel so hungry, a hunger only God will satisfy, why then do i seek sustenance in anything but sometimes? People must be so frustrating.........

Numero uno

This then is the beginning......

I created this blog because i love writing, and i love the idea of keeping a diary but i never manage to write in it past May...so maybe i will have more success with this.

I am reading some wonderful books at the moment which have really impacted me and my faith, 1) The practice of the presence of God and the Spiritual maxims by Brother Lawrence and 2) There is always enough by Rolland and Heidi Baker.

I guess im learning again that it is all about love- Jesus' unconditional salvatory love and our response-an overwhelming desire to give glory to the only One who deserves it. Everything we do should be in the flow of this.

Since when was it my timing anyway? i have been called to Africa for as long as i have known the Lord and i guess somewhere along the road because it was "my" calling i had lost sight of the fact that it is always about Him and through Him that we go anyway.....so for now i will wait, and pray and ask to burn with God's love and compassion for those so in need of it.

ramble ramble ramble...already i have probably used too many words to not say alot so i think I'll leave it there for now.....