Dear beautiful boy,
I haven't been able to write about you properly yet, I can't seem to find the words to adequately explain what you mean to me without drifting into clichè, I'm sure this post will be no different. Tonight is different though. I have just tucked you into bed on this, the last day of my maternity leave. I wanted to say, my precious one that I love you more than you or I will ever know. Were I to empty the dictionary and shake all of the truth held captive there out of it's pages I would still not find the words to express who you are to me. The last ten months of your life have marked my most joyful days, my most intense times of worry, and my heart expanding in ways I couldn't have imagined. It has been my absolute privilege to be your mumma, you are just the sweetest boy and even to think of you fills me with delight. You make me happy every day, I often find myself staring at you and crying; overcome by emotion. Thank you Gabriel, for your perfect little spirit, for your extremely chubby arms, for your kisses, for your changeable ways, for your love for me. Thank you for being tough, for coping with so much, for grace extended to me over and over as I desperately try this thing called loving you. Thank you baby boy for allowing me to spend so much time with you, for giving me an excuse not to leave the house on wintry days, for sleeping so freaking well, for the way you eat babybels. You are astounding to me, in every way I could fathom. I held you a little tighter tonight, snuggled into you a little longer, smothered you in just a few more kisses, marinating in these last few moments like this together. I so wish you could have known the significance of today, that you would've disarmed me with your discerning love....but you have no idea. My end of maternity leave present from you was my hair getting showered in your sick. A charming and altogether fitting end to this incredible season we've spent together. I adore you Gabe, I will never be prouder of you than I am today, I love you for who you are, not what you may or may not achieve. I promise to try to faithfully love you with every piece of my soul for every day of your life. My prayer is that you would always know who you are in Christ, that you would be bold and courageous, that you would live in humility, preferring others. That you would cultivate an attitude of servanthood all the while knowing you are no longer a slave to fear but a child of the living God. My hope is for you to use your life to make a tangible difference to others, that you would soar, that you would dream, that you would be released in freedom to be all that you were born to be. I suppose I am getting ahead of myself here, first you've got to overcome the hurdle of learning how to crawl properly.....your technique at the moment needs work.....
